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Whatup Reader!
A few years ago, my best friend Jill shared a quote with me, passed on to her by her ex-husband: "Easy is earned." I loved the quote then, and I still love it now, but as with all things (or at least all things in my brain), I like to pressure test it from time to time by seeing how many different scenarios it holds true in.
I think that the quote is 100% spot on when it comes to skill acquisition, and given that my brain naturally views things in terms of sport, said quote tends to hold up fairly well. However, as our current economy continues to grow more and more K-shaped, I view this sentiment as less and less true, and I pretty much haven't been able to stop thinking about it for the past few weeks.
I know that they say (whoever they is) that comparison is the thief of joy, but it would seem to me that comparison is also the holder of magnifying glasses. Yes, some people have it better than you, and focusing on what they have can make you feel bad and actually prevent you from seeing all the things that you have. Howeverrrrr, some people have it better than you, and really scrutinizing that fact can present an opportunity for you to say, "Wait a goddamn second!"
I don't care what anyone says, things are objectively easier when you have more money. (And yes, the limit does exist.) To that end, if I think about "Easy is earned," and apply it to money, it would follow that the ease that comes from having money…is earned.
Here’s where things start to break down for me. Yes, skill-based ease is earned, circumstantial ease on the other hand, not so much.
It's no secret I live in a very resourced place. The South Bay as a whole is very affluent, with houses along the Strand listed for upwards of $20 million and houses down the street from us currently listed for $1.8 million (we rent). Whether or not they sell is a different story, but either way, that's what they're on the market for.
Circling back to this K-shaped economy, I refuse to swallow the idea that folks who are able to afford a $24 million house have done that much more to earn said ease as compared to the individuals who Lex and I hand out canned goods to at the local food bank on the third Tuesday of the month.
My point here is not that hard work doesn't matter. My point is also not that hard work should not be rewarded. My point is something that Leigh Soriano said in a recent post she shared. It was a mantra to herself, and she stated, "You are allowed to have the life you want." I absolutely love the word choice here, and I particularly love the fact that she didn't use the word "deserve." If ease isn't purely earned, then wanting a good life doesn’t require proof that you've suffered enough for it. As soon as we use the word "deserve", we gotta go back to the ledger to tally what we've put in. "Allowed" doesn't ask for any receipts.
I consider myself to be a possibility presenter, and that is what I really want to communicate and convey with this email. Struggle is not a prerequisite for happiness. Insane sacrifice is not the sole predictor of success. These things can contribute, but also, I believe that it is hugely, hugely, hugely important that you even dare to dream about that “success”. It is hugely, hugely important that you even believe that you can have the type of life you want, whatever that may look like.
I'm not here to blow smoke, make empty promises, or say that if you just want it badly enough, it'll happen. And for the record, yes, I clearly believe in the value of hard work. I just want to make sure that you're even allowing yourself to want these things in the first place.
Worth noting, I'm not just talking about material things like a big house. It was just an easy example to use, so I ran with it. I'm talking about the ease that comes with being financially stable. I'm talking about the ease that comes from living in a place where wealth and resources are appropriately redistributed. I'm talking about not believing the propaganda that you can only find ease in life after you've worked yourself to the bone and sacrificed your health, your relationships, and more time than you'll ever be able to get back.
I don’t have answers for many things, but I know that coming up with solutions starts with believing that an answer is even possible.
Yes, easy is earned when it comes to skill acquisition, and also, you’re allowed to have the life you want.
Happy Tuesday, Reader.
Maestro out.
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